4/11/2007

The cost of seduction

We've all had crushes before, and we all know that it tends to bring out our inner 'stalking'/chasing tendencies (we all have them!). These tendencies vary in degree of intensity from one person to another; people that like to repress their inner desires and are somewhat in denial are usually subtle about their interest towards the opposite sex. These people are boring and never achieve anything. The type that amuses me the most are the ones that are semi-psychotic, especially the females. Some kind of powerful chemical invades their brains and wipes out the significance of generally important things such as personal 'prestige', reputation, pride and time. Everything ceases to be important and suddenly the whole point of existence is To Seduce The Crush At All Costs.
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My instructor for an evening class that I have signed up for is rather handsome. Actually he is probably one of the most gorgeous men I've ever seen, and he also holds a fancy PHD from an Ivy League. Naturally, this guy has his own set of groupies and a huge world wide female fan club. I'm not surprised. He is available (he openly advertises that he is 'single'), smart, fascinating, charming and hot!

But you can imagine the look on my face when I saw none other than Degenerate walk into the class 30 minutes before its end. She was decked out like she just came out of a fashion magazine. Her hair was puffed up and teased, the swarovski bling was shining on every piece of skin she was revealing, her ten inch prada heels were pouncing on the marble floor, demanding everyone's immediate attention. And her short silk skirt swayed teasingly with every step, revealing a slight inch of golden sprayed thigh. As a girl, I am more than willing to bet my bonus that Degenerate spent at least 3 hours getting ready to make this entrance.

And she made it grand! The instructor halts the class as soon as he sees her. Degenerate struts directly towards him. The instructor freezes, then awkwardly sticks out his hand to greet her. Degenerate aggressively grabs his hand and pulls him towards her to give him two kisses on the cheek. Her french manicured claws linger on his shoulder seductively for a few seconds after the kiss as she cocks her hip and gazes into his eyes . This was done in front of everyone in and during class.
She then slides up in the empty seat next to me. She doesn't kiss me hello, even though we've known each other since we were 3, and the last time we saw each other was two years ago. So I decide to be casual and just talk to her normally:

CD: Hey D! I didn't know you signed up for this class!
Degenerate: Actually I didn't, I'm just here to sit in.
CD: Oh. ok. Cool.
Degenerate: I'm here because the instructor is a very close friend of mine. (proudly advertising) We're going out for coffee together after the class.
CD: So you're just gonna wait here for 30 minutes untill the class is over?
Degenerate: yeah
CD: (attempting to be cheeky) wow, you must have a lot free time.
Degenerate: (totally ignoring me and fixing her eyes on the instructor).

Everyday Degenerate shows up 30 minutes before class ends, with a brand new high fashion outfit that she probably spent hours conceptionalizing the night before infront of her mirror. Thats fine, I'm not hating on her. I can respect her for going after what she wants, I can admire her courage, zest and passion. I can even envy her lack of concern to what other people think.

But I do wonder, if 3 hours of your day is spent on getting ready to look fabulous (salon, make-up, green contact lenses, bronze spray on thighs and arms, outfit, heels etc) 30 minutes on waiting for your crush to finish his work, followed by another 30 minutes of watching other girls playing dumb, asking him questions and blatantly flirting with him after class, 2 hours of finally having solo time with him at a coffee shop-it all totals to about 6 hours...I mean come on, am I the only one that cares about time in this country? How the hell is it freaking possible to get anyting remotely productive done during the day?

4/08/2007

I CAN'T SLEEP :(