Grandmother's Futoor

While discussing the flawed urban engineering plan in Dubai which had materialized ridiculous daily traffic all around the city, I mentioned fleetingly a male friend's painful commute to work. He lives only 50 feet away , right across the street from his office, yet he has to go through a 30 minute drive every morning just to make an annoying U turn. Again, I mentioned this friend's misfortune fleetingly, for the obvious purpose of contributing to the conversation. But you see, the mere mention of a 'male friend' to my superincumbent male cousin caused quite the stir at Grandmother's dining table. Almost immediately the suspicious uproar ensued, shifting the main topic of conversation (Dubai Traffic) to a gruelling interrogation:
Oppressive Cousin: CD, who is this 'male friend'?
CD: uhh.. he's a Syrian guy friend of mine
Oppressive Cousin: Oh? and he works in Dubai?
CD: yeah
Oppressive Cousin: I didn't know you had Syrian male friends.
CD: Uh, yeah, well I do.
Oppressive Cousin: how do you know him?

Ok, you've got to be kidding me. I can only take this line of questioning from two people in this world; my father, and my boss. But any hypocrite that attempts to publicly question me and my moral behavior to insinuate sexual misconduct, especially a loser that amassed an ostentatious playboy reputation worthy of trillions of STDs , can totally shove a fork up his behind. I'm not complaining about the double standard imposed in our society, since that is an obvious solid concrete unchangeable tragic reality. (I've unwieldily come to terms with it years ago, and I've moved on) I'm ranting about the affair that a man who has no direct responsiblity over me feeling completely entitled to question me, a grown working adult mind you, under the grounds that we are 'related'. I was so compelled to retort back:
"well, my dear self righteous Oppressive Cousin, I don't really recall the premises of meeting my Syrian friend, because I was severely intoxicated on some high quality substances that night. I can assure you, however, that it was a raging party that I attended overflowing with illegal booze and horny men. I also know that the following day, I woke up in my Syrian friend's bed in some seedy apartment in Hawali, butt naked. Doesn't that rock? Anyway, he moved to follow a lucrative career in Dubai, and I thought it wise to keep in touch with him, you know, for the occasional booty call when I visit"

Unfortunately I don't live in a kick ass fantasy world where I could totally say something like that and get away with it, so I stuck with this pithy pragmatic response:
"um, we went to college together, and we sort of keep in touch online. "