On a Lighter Note

Nothing aggravates me more than totally unqualified people earning about the same money I do or more except when those very unqualified people don't even show up for work. Sometimes, those people are penalized somewhere in the future, but when they are women, they manage to glide and sail smoothly on leaving work early, coming in late, and doing little work for 4 months straight. The amazing secret? "I'm engaged to be married, I have things to plan".

This statement is the preverbial Get out of Jail pass to every irascible boss or overpowering manager who immediately reverses into a loving sympathetic father figure, full of expressive felicitations and best wishes for the New Bride to Be. Meanwhile, a big chunk of her incompleted projects gets dumped on my desk, and I pull insane after work hours scramming to clean her mess, while she struts around flipping through bridal magazines to fish for creative wedding ideas. I'm not the only one that suffers the heavier workload, my humorous male colleague, Wisecracker, is a victim of this injustice too. While I internalize my work related frustrations or anonymously publish them on the internet for everyone to read (thus shoving a nice Christian Dior stilleto up my career's ass), Wisecracker chooses to be very vocal and public about his embittered sentiments to me:
Wisecracker: Maa 9arat, CD, I m slaving away everyday, coming to work on time and leaving late while Miss Bride to Be is having social hours in her office, discussing flower decorations and gay lebanese designers!
CD: yalla maykhalif, maa bugaa shay 3ala el 3irs, she'll get married, have kids and the boss won't take her excuses anymore then Bam - he'll ask her to leave! heheheh...
Wisecracker: I'm buying you dinner when that happens! Bas mita bit-fuknaa witizawaj?
CD: khala9, she already did her milcha. The wedding should be soon.
Wisecracker: ishsaalfat hal wedding? she probably already lost her virginity anyway!
CD: Laa, yalla 3ad, they do that after the wedding party, dude.
Wisecracker: C'mon CD, look at her face, she's GLOWING! I bet you their dirty places touched at least four times this weekend.
CD: Noway dude, where the hell are they gonna sneak around to have sex? Its Ramadan for God's sake.
Wisecracker: They don't need to sneak around, they already did the milcha, she can bring him into her bedroom and her parents will say nothing!

I realized at this point that we were having a very inappropriate discussion, in a very inappropriate place, about someone inappropriately located within close proximity to my office! Its funny how when you really click with a character like Wisecracker, you end up talking about outrageous things (such as your co-worker's sex life) without even noticing. I bit my tongue immeadiately and changed the topic of conversation, but I didn't resist to come and tell you all about it :)