advice from matchmaker II
Dear child let me give you some advice. When a man is courting you during your engagement period, he is still testing you and your moral character. Do not be fooled by his sweet words and adulations. Do not be swayed if he recites you poetry and promises you the world. Show restraint. Be unmoved. And if he asks you to go out with him to dinner say NO without hesitation.
Last year, I suceeded in matching X couple. During their courting period, the man confided in me that he liked his fiance, but was concerned that she had studied and lived abroad and was hence very worried about her possible carefree character. He told me that his final test was to ask her for dinner, and if she accepts he will break it off.
I of course immediately panicked and decided to call her and find out in my own way how she would react. I told her casually that he wil be inviting her for dinner, and as expected, she was excited and utterly dazed. I decided it would be wise to inform her mother about his intentions. I knew her mother would take care of it.
So that night he went to her house as he usually does to rendezvous with her. She poured him coffee and served him cake. She paraded down the living room and dangled herself deliciously onto him. She batted her eyes and swayed her hips.
He asked her to dinner.
She said, "I would love to have dinner with you, but I feel it is inappropriate to go out with a man alone, as we are still strangers. Inshalla if we get married, we can do these things, but at this point I must respectfully decline your invitation".
My dear child I am telling you this because I want to open your eyes on the society we live in. The men may appear westernized in their lifestyle, they may have western education, but believe me they are all very eastern in their thinking when it comes to marriage. You must never disregard this. This is the society we live in. Play it right!
posted by Closet Diva @ 23.7.06
27 comments
27 Comments:
ooh. smart. and true. :P i noticed Kuwaiti guys like to trick the girls to find out how easy they are or whatever. but don't they ever get sick of the girls who say "no" all the time?
You should ask her about the Turkish coffee test.
If you make the coffee with the "wish" beige foam head and serve the coffee all black, it means you will be a bad housewife.
HOW TRUE. we have to live with this..SIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGh. It depresses me. I'm so depressed now...Where is mY MANNNNNNNNNNN!?!!?
hehehe, im goin thru a lonely phase, forgive me.
fwai7,
yes this is the true and smart way of attracting champions of double standards and raging hypocrites.
j,
all matters of romantic courtship is sneaky business.
don v,
never heard of the turkish coffee, but thanks for the info. Its very comforting to know that a potential suitor would reject me and label me as a disastrous housewife on this turkish coffee basis.
sexy G,
Ma 3indich salfah! You live in one of the most exciting cities in the world. Excite yourself! Or how about I come by and excite you in dubai :p
Hey gurl..so Did the matchmaker find you someone, cuz if she did, I'll come all the way to Kuwait to see her! lol
sexy G
7ayaaaach Allah bil Ikuwait. I'll be more than happy to set up a meeting with you and the matchmaker, as long as you're willing to sign a contract promising me not to wring my neck after you meet her.
UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE!!!
What she said is true.
Although not ALL guys are like that. MOST are.
Does not mean I would have declined the invitation though, just so he approves of me.
I would like to hear what the guys think. Honestly.
The idea that accepting a dinner invitation from a man you are engaged to is actually an indication of a loose character is insanity. Also indicative of low self-esteem--he thinks you would accept a date with any Joe Blow and he is nothing special; well, he would know how special he is not, huh? Just be yourself. If the guy doesn't like it, boo-freaking-hoo! And a guy who has the nerve to test you is probably going to be doing that all your life. Life is more than one big test, wallahi! Best of luck, CD!
What?!?!?! This for real???!?? Wow..what about if u accept but with a chapperone (or however u spell that)...
spat,
Thank you for being astonished. Its reaffirming.
mimi,
now the million dollar question is....(drumroll)..:
are ice-cream sundaes (aka chicken nuggets) like that too?
Digital nomad,
You're right about the self esteem part, who wants to deal with that for the rest of their life? & I don't understand the big deal about going out to dinner. Its just sharing a meal, in a public place. I often go out to business dinners and lunches with male colleagues from work. So why can't I do it with my fiance?
clv,
I'm in my late twenties..why do I need a chaperone? :p
But your suggestion works; the accompaniment of a chaperone would validate the dinner from both a 'moral' and cultural perspective.
O lo ilzawaj has anything to do with whether or not u can make a good cup of turkish chan ana minzimaaaaaan mitzawja o dragging along my kids to the blogger meetings ba3ad :P
That's sad. And "play it right"? It's a game now?
I think that what happened with that couple is morally wrong since their values conflict; she thinks it's okay to go out for dinner and he thinks it's not. One of the most important things that a couple must share is having the same values. It may seem all right when they're childless but when they have kids, there might be a split between which values are adopted and which ones are discarded.
Oh My God !!! who does that shit these days ??
I hate sneaky people
I hate people who are not straight forward with you bil kalam !!
STUPID MENTALITY!!
:(
Oooooh what happened to my other comment? I posted 2 wara ba3th :( 3ad it was a long one, i dont write long ones often hehehe mit7asfa 3al comment ana :P
good job CD :)
i love the way u write
wa7ed mn a7la al blogs elli i read ,,o kl youm afta7 agool yaaaaaaaaa rab CD tkoon 3andha new entry :)
good luck o keep us updated,hah;)
I agree Zinzin.
Ok, that's just crazy. If the guy doesn't want to marry a girl just because she wants to go out with him in public before marriage, then screw him and screw the whole marriage part. Do you really think that he'll let you socialize without him after marriage? Who needs another obsessed control freak anyway?
I say ditch the matchmaker, I think her ideal man is Usama Bin Laden.
The match maker sounds like my grandma. I look to reading more!
From what the matchmaker said, we are expected to assume that the couple were happy because they "stayed together."
I disagree with her...completely! (As I am sure you do, too, CD ;-) )
I felt as though it was a sad story about an unsuccessful marriage...about a guy who likes to play games with his soon-to-be-bride and about a girl who is desperate to get a ring on her finger (so desperate, that she will change a part of herself to conform to this guy.)
If I were the chica, and I knew what was going on, I would have exposed his insecurities blow by blow:
1. "I would have said yes, but I realize this is a trick because you are paranoid and not secure with yourself or with me."
2. "Knowing your true intentions, I say no, I will not go out with you, because you are an oppressive trickster that enjoys plotting and cornering the people they are supposed to care about."
3. "You can take that ring and shove it up your @$$."
CD weinich?
DonVeto
That is a Turkish tradition is it not?
With regards to the situation described, seems like the matchmaker was desperate for this match to work so she could get her 7alawa
And the girl is also desperate to get married.
7asafah
samboose,
WELL SAID! My sentiments exactly!!!
erzie,
I'm going through a delirious period where I am quite incapable of thinking/writing coherently....too much to digest!!
Interesting
Yet more confirmation that our society is dysfunctional.
I think we have proved this time and time again... within plenty of contexts!
u stupid arab screwhead!! what kind of frigging nonsense is this.. a guy "concerned" beacuse his potential fiancee lived abroad and will break it off if she accepts the dinner.. logically speaking in a supressive culture of gulf where marriage matters are dominated by parents and family memeber, the guy should be happy that his goin to be bride is open minded..
gulf is a sick culture where parents and family members simply crucify their children into a social abuse..
As sad as it is, its true. I guess what we Gulf boys don't know about our potential wives, doesn't hurt us. So keep it a secret and we'll look the other way.
I think conflicting moral values will lead to disaster. When a man is more conservative and a woman is liberal, that will NEVER WORK. on the other hand if the MAN is liberal and the woman is more conservative, that may pass. because NO MAN wants his wif or fiance to be having dinner with male colegues. Because what women dont know is Men and Women can NOT be friends , the male only wants one thing and the female also wants the same but she does not know it untill it happens. thats why woman and man canot be friends.
Post a Comment
<< Home