Politically incorrect table conversation

vocabulary word of the day:

Boorish

boorish: awkwardly ill-mannered


Remember my cockroach on crack ? Well, the more I get to know him, the more I realize that he is not really a cockroach on crack, but more of a boor on crack, who is always, unknowingly, saying the most inappropriate things . While I'm sure we've all committed our share of faux paus, and have clumsily uttered inappropriate statements only to bite our tongues and feel our shame, this guy continues to be artless in his behavior, and totally astounds me with his talent in being ungraceful uncultivated and completely boorish.

I was asked to accompany him on a business lunch with some Americans from San Francisco. During our lunch, one of the American guys launched into a lengthy monologue about a certain project. Usually, when I'm listening to a monologue while stuffing grape vine leaves down my throat, I'll be silent, nodd, maintain eye contact, and maybe occasionally affirm my interest in the conversation by uttering short sentences such as"oh really", "wow", "aah..I see", "ok". But the boor unwittingly dug fiercely into his plate of greasy gluttonous kebab, completly indifferent to the ongoing conversation, wolfed down his food ferociously without even looking up to the speaker, and uttered a continuous loud, and awkward "MMMMMMM" .
It was incredible!
With every deep annoying "MMMMMM" conjured from the back of his throat and out of his mouth, I couldn't help but wonder....is he really enjoying his meat that much, or does he think that resembling an orgasm is an appropriate way to participate in a conversation?
By the fourth "MMMMM", I was rightfully embarrassed, and seriously considered sending him a text message to alert him of his very inappropriate "mmmm" outbursts. Thank God at that moment he began to verbally participate in the conversation (hence discontinuing his "mmmmms") and switched the topic of discussion to a lighter, non-work related subject: domestic help in kuwait.
Of course, this is where our glorious boor decided that he should make a strong impression, and accordingly toss out this charming and completely graceful statement:
"every house in Kuwait has two or three servants, you know, to keep the wife quiet"
I nearly choked on my tabbouli salad when I heard "to keep the wife quiet". Instantly mortified, and rattled at his blatant misogyny, I hurriedly looked up at the table to check the facial expressions of our American guests. They all looked bewildered, and somewhat unsure if they should laugh, or just blink in horror. The female guest, on the other hand, looked straight at me, giving me that knowing glance that said "I am absolutely horrified your colleague just said to keep the wife quiet".
But the real grand outrageous moment that shook the table like an earthquake, and nearly induced cardio heart arrest to myself was when the boor decided to tell us about his experience at X hotel in X American city:
"It was terrible, I was staying at X hotel while they were having a gay lesbian conference. There were gays all around the hotel for the whole weekend, I couldn't even hang around the lobby"
In my head, I am screaming Noooooooooo, boor, nooooooooo! You don't express your homophobia to a bunch of liberals from california!! You just lacerated the very fabric of their democracy, their plights, and efforts of achieving equal rights for the homosexual community.
I was too embarrassed to even look at our guests' faces, but I certainly felt the loud heavy pregnant silence that descended upon us.
Nobody laughed.....
Nobody empathized. ....
Nobody said anything.....
The shock induced silence hovered around our table like a conjested stuffy cloud, and it lingered upon us awkwardly.