Advice from the matchmaker
You must honor your man. Put him on a pedestal, obey his wishes. You must take care of him, give him his needs and seek his approval in anything you wish to endeavor. Even if you have more wealth than him, you must empower him. A smart woman will give him the power.
A smart woman will keep her own wealth for herself and stand up for herself!
No child, no. Trust my grey hair, I have been through life. A smart woman understands her society and understands her position. A man can take up another wife, but a woman is locked in her matrimonial fate. A woman must fullfill her religious duty by making her man happy, comfortable and satisfied.
It is also a man's religious duty to make his woman happy, comfortable and satisfied. It is a two way street.
It is a man's duty to provide for his woman, and give her a home.
I don't need anyone to provide for me, I live a very comfortable life!
You must never show a man that you are independent. You must always make him feel that you need him. Dear child, I am a good reader of personalities and faces. My profession has enabled me to come across numerous personalities. I can read yours, I know that beneath your fiery passion, you are a sweet natured girl. I can help you uncover your sweetness.
(this is total bullshit, I can't believe I have to sit through this. She's supposed to match me up and collect her fee, so why is she providing me a psychological analysis/criticism of my personality?)
Dear child, there is a saying in french "Femme trop piteuse fait, sa famille teigneuse" which means that a pitful housewife makes a pitful household. Every woman in the world knows she must have a sweet personality for her husband. A woman must always hide her grievience. She must never speak of her problems and marriage secrets to anyone. She must never speak ill of her husband, not even to her family. Problems will come and go, but a good woman, a smart woman keeps her marital problems a secret.
posted by Closet Diva @ 13.7.06
16 comments
16 Comments:
waiting for part 2
Hahaha chan gilteeelaha "yeaah yeaah i know all that....wain il rayil lo sma7tay? Wela ma3indich a7ad"
lo0l izgirt ;p this kha6aba is quoting french ;p
she seems like she's full of useless advice, tell her to publish a book or something ;p
and ignore everything she says! its B.S!
CD: are u for real... she was quoting french. LOL!
"Dear child, I am a good reader of personalities and faces. My profession has enabled me to come across numerous personalities. I can read yours, I know that beneath your fiery passion, you are a sweet natured girl. I can help you uncover your sweetness."
I am sorry CD, but she sounds like she is training you to be a Geisha.
I don't like the matchmaker.
Hello from Quebec, Canada CD...
A woman must always hide her grievience. She must never speak of her problems and marriage secrets to anyone. She must never speak ill of her husband, not even to her family. Problems will come and go, but a good woman, a smart woman keeps her marital problems a secret.
I cannot beleive what i read... I am mixed with surprise and rage... altough i am surprised i somehow knew that this is the mentality of elderly people in your region (i am writing what i hear and read since i am not muslim)
I sinceraly beleive that a marriage is a communion between 2 people... a SHARE of life.. not one feeding the other... this is a MACHO mantality and even if i am a man.. i don't approve taht at all...
For the woman to close herself and not freeing stress or rage is bad for that person... its a delivarance to be able to look for solutions and speak freely...
Keep it up.. you don't need a matchmaker i will say it in french too "Vaut mieux ne pas avoir de relation plutot qu'une mauvaise relation" meaning your better alone than with a bad relationsip.
Is the fact that you seem intellingent and outgoing that scares men?
cheers!
Hi cd... there is some good advice min il khataba... it all depends 3lich wa 3la il husband do u love him ? itha t7beena then ystahal il sara7a ...bil nihaya hatha kila fe masla7tich u will be his queen. salfat il mashakil tara sa7 kalmha latl3een suwali baitich bara..ila itha kanat mashakil sa3b ina u live with ...mithil abuse ...drugs ...womanizer ...disrespectfull..hal mashkil mayinsikit 3nha ...other than that remeber marriage is a great thing if u both have respect and love for each other wish u all the best give the khataba a chance u never know yimkin tilgain shay zain wiyaha...
Hi cd... there is some good advice min il khataba... it all depends 3lich wa 3la il husband do u love him ? itha t7beena then ystahal il sara7a ...bil nihaya hatha kila fe masla7tich u will be his queen. salfat il mashakil tara sa7 kalmha latl3een suwali baitich bara..ila itha kanat mashakil sa3b ina u live with ...mithil abuse ...drugs ...womanizer ...disrespectfull..hal mashkil mayinsikit 3nha ...other than that remeber marriage is a great thing if u both have respect and love for each other wish u all the best give the khataba a chance u never know yimkin tilgain shay zain wiyaha...
i personally only agree with anonymous (ely fogy) regarding the part about whatever happens between the couple shouldnt get out lena this doesnt help with understanding and compatibility .. bel3aks it creates a reliance on some outside factor, which is sorta the exact opposite of the point of what a couple should have .. ?
o tara mo bas mas'alat meshakel, y3ni 7ata the good things.. el khesoseya i think is the word, and i personally think it should be held in great value
i think this french speaking matchmaker is way overrated, kalamha kelesh mo shay and even demeaning actually if you ask me
I enjoyed reading this post. I think a khattaba should only be paid one year after milcha. That's how we can combat their existance cos they will end up broke.
Oh my dear God! She is going to help uncover your sweetness??? read: turn you into a doormat! As if! :) The only realistic thing she had to say was
"She must never speak of her problems and marriage secrets to anyone. She must never speak ill of her husband,"
but when she said about not speaking to family about problems, my God, what craziness is that! Outsiders need not know your inner problems unless you have complete confidence and trust in them...but family? In Islam, our family is commanded to look out for our interests. And your family is obviously capable of doing that. Although I don't personally think a matchmaker is a great idea, there are a handful in the world who are much better than this lady.
Good luck CD!
Well CD, I am a bit out of breath right now, mostly because I was a bit angered at how immature the matchmaker was. Yes, immature.
I was in a class called "Women's Autobiography and Writing" this summer and our professor pulled out a page of a 1950's textbook on how a wife should be, things like "...fix your hair and put on powder before he comes from work. Don't greet him with your troubles. Only have a smile on your face and nothing else..." You get the point. Stepford wife? You bet. Just a deja vou...
I think that it is this kind of approach to marriage that makes many fall apart in time. How can someone suppress their troubles and disappointments and not talk about it? Isn't communication and honesty what makes a relationship stronger? I suppose one can bottle up their feelings and thoughts for an amount of time, but forever? A major explosion would be eminent...
Of course, I am only critisizing what this matchmaker preaches. And I can't believe she spoke French to add to her almighty self-righteousness. Times are changing, and relationship structure is too.
Maybe she has someone in mind who is actually a great match for you. And I do hope that whoever you settle down with will appreciate, respect, and soon grow to love you for your true being, because in my opinion, that's what it's all about in the end.
Bon chance :)
anony,
as much as i hate it, a part 2 will be comin up...
DR,
LOL!
Baroque,
she even quoted Victor Hugo, but I forgot what it was or what context.
misguided,
yep, she's fluent in french!
I thought the Geisha advice was weird too, in fact I thought the whole advice thing was weird. I didn't know matchmakers provided advice and personality profile analysis?
spat,
welcome to my blog. I noticed ur link (merci xxx)
I agree with you 100%, and I would jump out of my blog and kiss you if I could. Its nice to know I am not alone in my outrage.
Its very unhealthy for women to suppress their anger and keep their strees caged inside their head, especially since we have very little outlets of entertainment for women. Its also taboo for women to seek psychotherapy over here, which makes it even that much harder for them to swallow up their stress.
anonymous,
thanks
T,
I don't think we should all go out on Oprah or Dr. Phil and publicise our family drama on national TV, but I do think that living in denial and not having someone to talk to is extremely unhealthy!
Flaming,
LOL! What an idea! But I'm not against the existence of matchmakers, I think they serve a valid purpose for those that have little or no interaction with the opposite sex. Its just that in my case, I don't think I need one!!! (not yet, at least)
dn,
I think she does want to turn me into a doormat, so that she can recommend me to her list of clients that are looking for doormat type of females.
erz,
I dont know if she is 'immature'...I think she is haunted by an extremely anitquated mentality, that should not exist anymore.
zain makifa7'teeha :-D
"Its also taboo for women to seek psychotherapy over here"
I disagree. i know many women who go to shrinks and they're even open about it. killish 3adi.
Asaha etaris lo bichait
And you sat through that? You are polite.
"Problems will come and go, but a good woman, a smart woman keeps her marital problems a secret."
This attitude is precisely what causes many men to feel they have the "right" to abuse and beat and torture their wives, because a "good woman keeps her marital problems a secret."
How can you resolve a problem if you keep it a secret and are unable to network with others who may have new, different, better ideas on how to resolve the problems?
Will this woman now tell you not to let this prospective suitor know how intelligent you are, for fear he will be overwhelmed? How can one respect a man who is overwhelmed by a woman's intelligence?
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