Weddings Galore
Don't you love November? T'is the season to mate, legally, with a grand +20,000 KD opening celebration. And in comes with this celebration(s) is my wretched obligation to attend. Allow me to elaborate on why I am so excited to participate;
1-I have to scan the Kuwaiti retail market like a hound dog on Paxil for a ludicrously priced dress.
2- I will then commit the transgression of dropping more than a month's paycheck for this gown that will only be worn once, maybe twice, but definitley not more than thrice.
3-I will have to endure endless scrutiny, inspection, and evaluation from middle aged women, on the hunt for aspiring 'wives' or maybe just enviously nostalgic for my youth.
4- I have to pretend to enjoy the Kuwaiti 7areem disco when I don't even remotely enjoy the music: nagging lyrics, recycled beats, and redundant meaning (love, desire, pain etc - what century do you live in, O dear singer?).
No thanks, unless you are somebody that I personally know and am genuinely happy for , why should I attend? Why! Well, our mothers graduated the same class umm 30 years ago, they're not bestfriends but they were neighbors in ancient Jiblah, with faint memories of skipping together hand in hand on the way to elementary school, and last but not least, they happen to mix in the same presumptious social circles that I rightfully call "Vampire's Congregation". For that reason, the bride's mother is perfectly entitled to question my absence in social events, adding the biting comment "bintich laish moo ijtima3iya" ("why is your daughter anti social") to my mother. My mother will then feel incredibly insecure, and will launch a verbal lashing at me immediately via phone, ( I should stop answering her calls when she's at social events) to express severe disdain at my atypical social isolation.
So whatever, I don't need the drama, I'll sacrifice my nights for 4-5 weddings of individuals I hardly know (or care for). And you may think I'll be admiring the theatrical display of ultimate sophistication ( and financial capability -worth a brand new sportscar, 3 kidney transplants, and a bonafide sex change) for a couple of hours for just one bland evening, BUT KNOW THAT I AM ONLY THERE TO AVOID MOTHER'S ENDLESS BICKER, and that I really could care less about whats her names marriage.
posted by Closet Diva @ 15.11.05
23 comments
23 Comments:
Dear CD,
Most go to wedding parties for one of two reasons:
1. It's thier best friend getting married or..
2. Wedding Parties (not unlike in other societies) is a way of showing yourself to prospective grooms.... in this case groom mothers.
Truly,
Misguided
P.S. That's just my take on the whole thing... please don't bite my a-- off if you don't agree. At times I feel some of "Big Warden's" attitude has rubbed off on to you.
The best thing about Kuwaiti weddings is the food. But then again, maybe because I'm here right now so just saying 'Free Food' is a great incentive for me to show up anywhere...good food though... P.S. if it's in the Sheraton, they have AMAZING risotto...yum I still remember it :P
misguided,
hehehe what better way of releasing my agression than castigating anonymous bloggers that read all about my life?
Suffice to say, your list is very general and weak, and totally inapplicable to me. So I'll add one more point:
3. To maintain a stable relationship with their mother.
Erz,
Weddings don't start serving the food untill 2:00 am; an hour I wouldn't dare drop even a strawberry in my mouth.
Bujacob,
lol! You guys got it easy; we'll spend 3 grand on a dress, and it still won't look that unique or special.
Oh my god!
"Bintich laish moo ijtima3iya?" ?!?!?!? :|
WTF!!
How inappropriate and rude for some random friend of your mom's- (who isn't even that close I take it) to criticize her daughter like that!
Hehehe at least my mom's friends phrase it better: "Laish Gigi ma yat?? Min zimaan ma shifnaaha!" And if I did happen to go one day: "Gigiiii shloonich?? Wainich matbayneen?" Then to my mom: "Ha akeed intaw khasheenha mataboon a7ad yaakhith-ha minkum *wink*wink* La ghal6aneen lazim itkhaloon ilnaas it-shoofha!"
But then that just invites my mom to be the one to say "La walla lo ibkaifee chan sa7abt-ha ma3aai kil mukaan! Bas madri laish hal bint moo ijtime3iya!!
Damned if you do and damned if you don't o_O
Gigi, hopelessly >_<
Yuck. Boring. Waste of money. Waste of time. Just get and keep a horribly contagious cold for the whole wedding season and send a gift. Yeah, that sounds better.
Or, maybe... "Mom, I'll meet you there, I'm just going to make a quick stop" An hour later, "I'm on my way, see you in ten". An hour later, "I'm here, where are you?" An hour later, "I'm going to go now, I don't feel well at all and it's really cold out here!". All calls conveniently placed from your cell phone in the comfort of your local coffee shop. Sure, that'll work! ;-)
just don't go, I don't, my mom gets that nagging thing from her friends but the good thing is that she takes my side, not that your mom doesn't! I mean I had to explain what you just said, simply "I do not care" so why go! it's not me! am not two-faced so unless it's one of my best friends/cosins I don't see the point of being there, I don't only mean weddings, 7eta welada, esteqbal,... I have better things to do and better simpler stuff to spend my money on that would make me alot happier than go to a some wedding I don't even know anyone at.
of course she doesn't tell them that =P
oh except 3aza (funerals) I can't explain that one I just feel like I should be there.
why can't we attend divorce ceremonies? I bet that would be more exciting, especially if they do speed divorce.
Gigi,
that very woman once called the house to speak to me -get this- to inform me that I 'missed out' on a great party.
samboose,
i think the traditional aspect of it is charming, but the modern version that they have embraced which includes +500 guests, obscene financial costs, and palatial exaggerated celebration sucks. If they're gonna go modern, why not go all the way and invite men????
UE,
you do NOT know my mother! :p everything goes HER way, there ain't even a highway babe.
spont,
when it comes to funerals I'll be THE FIRST one there, and I'll be there for three whole days, morning and afternoon. but the other stuff is a waste of time, unless it is somebody close.
Purg,
heheh, what do u mean 'speed divorce'? and yes, there should be divorce parties! THAT WOULD DEFINITELY INSPIRE ME TO BUY A DRESS AND GO!!!
You are lucky it's seasonal in Kuwait. In my country it's a year round affair, and not only you are obliged to be present, but you are also expected to give money as a gift to the couple. No excuses. And that ON TOP of dress'n'stress that you describe. Oh, and you must go if at least one of your relatives/friends/colleagues knows at least one of the relatives/friends/colleagues of either bride or groom! You don't have it too bad, hehe :^) I had more than 2500 people at my wedding, and I had NO CLUE who at least 2450 people were!
=^..^=
allah y3afy the following:
handshake, 3 bosat 3al khad el ymeen etha meyana el me3ris, bosa ymen bosa ysar etha 3elaga shway rasmeya.. tegelgis bara chraimba o dag b hal shawarma emkhaleen bofaih 7ag el sheyaab
wetha teswa elsalfa este3raath .. o salam 3alaikom
that said, u have no idea how much time i spent looking at:
"And in comes with this celebration(s) is my wretched obligation to attend"
espicially the "is" .. i need to chill the fuck out
Qatar C,
did u get money from all 2500 people? That rocks...
Temetwir,
Ahh, the linguist expert, with the fancy masters degree an' all, has stepped into my blog to identify my grammatical errors...thats rich. :p
Dear CD and Purg,
A divorce party.. mhhh
Well there is this poem by Sophie Hannah that should keep you both entertained:
"The End of Love
The end of love should be a big event.
It should involve the hiring of a hall.
Why the hell not? It happens to us all.
Why should it pass without acknowledgement?
Suits should be dry-cleaned, invitations sent.
Whatever form it takes - a tiff, a brawl -
The end of love should be a big event.
It should involve the hiring of a hall.
Better than the unquestioning descent
Into the trap of silence, than the crawl
From visible to hidden, door to wall.
Get the announcement made, the money spent.
The end of love should be a big event.
It should involve the hiring of a hall."
Truly,
Misguided
shit your blog has beaten mine with regards to customer loyalty ;) you giving out freebies or something without telling us?
Weddings, hmmmm i think im going to piss everyone off at mine by just NOT turning up :) hehehe i'll video conference in from some beach somewhere, with a huge grin and an even bigger glass in my hand :D and give it something along the lines of
"hehehehe suckers! salut!"
CD, yes we did, and you are right, it totally rocks. But you see, that's precisely why we are obliged to attend all the weddings in the country and give a little money - for when the time comes that we (or our kids) get married, all these people show up and give money. It actually works great. We spent all we got on a month's long Caribbean honeymoon, Xmas shopping extravaganza and 2 sports cars (instead of a bigger house to the dismay of all our relatives, lol).
=^..^=
misguided,
what a delightful poem, I like how it moves forward to celebrate a new beginning. Thanx for sharing.
Oh Entrep,
If I wrote about how happy I was with my life, I'd bet my paycheck and yours that nobody would be reading. Don't you know that human beings derive pleasure in other people's tragedies and disappointments? Hehehh...I would love to take credit for this theory, but unfortunately, Aristotle is copyrighted:
"we delight in looking at the most detailed images of things which in themselves we see with pain"
and about your wedding scheme, eheheh, well, you know how I feel ;)
Qatar Cat,
I would love to attend a cypriot wedding! how interesting!
Dear CD,
You have never sounded to me like you where suffering!!!
To me, you sound amused at how silly people are around you sometimes....
i dunno just my take... you sound far to strong a woman for anyone reading this to think that you are a victim
truly,
misuided
P.S. Infact, I would be so lucky if my a-- doesn't get chewed off everytime i comment
misguided,
Oh how oh how you miscontrue my words! I am indeed a STRONG woman, yeaaah, wassap!
This blog is therapy for me, because while I am appalled by my surroundings everyday, it is healthier to laugh about it through writing than to bottle it up and be stressed all week. This confession doesn't make me sound like a victim, wouldn't you agree?
And I wasn't gonna chew your behind untill you mentioned it, so here it goes:
why are you so sensitive? and why can't you get a grip :P? and why won't you accept people's brutal honesty?
love,
CD
commercial
its grammatical.. thats not what i meant shda3wa thats what u think heh
it would be boring to explain what i meant so i wont bother.. but i definitely did not mean to say whether its grammatical or not
.. it does say a lot abt the way u see me, now doesnt it heh
Dear CD,
I'll try to respond without acting all defensive.
1. I am flattered that you find me sensitive.. isn't that a good thing... I guess bieng too sensitive is considered to be effeminate. I should probably bang my hairy chest and yell once in a while... just to balance my comments more.
2. "Why can't you get a grip?"... I smiled when I read that. To be honest I don't know what you are referring to.. but I found it funny nonetheless
3. Ah! yes... "brutal honesty". To be brutally honest that is what draws me to your blog..
Your writing certainly allows me to see things through your eyes... but I suspect life isn't that bad.. after-all it's the silliness around us that keeps us entertained... including reading your own escapades. ;)
Your fan,
Misguided
Hey there girl..it's been a while that I haven't past by...alas...not by choice...work has kept me away from my favourite sites and I hate them for it! Here are my comments to ensure that I've put my 2 cents in and got them off my chest:
(a) I for one come to your site because you seem to be sharing the same issues i share in life and you put them together so eloquently...(so please exempt me from the ones that come to read about your pain)..definately not applicable in my case..:)
(b) I wrote about the Wedding issues I have back in August...titled "Just Shoot Me"
http://misscosmokuwait.blogspot.com/2005_08_01_misscosmokuwait_archive.html
From there you'll see i have the same issues with my Mom...and I've learnt to deal with it as a debit and credit issue...i.e. when I need some browny points from my Mom..I clench my teeth and tolerate the damn wedding...when I don't..I explain my views that I hate female weddings and then block her lecture but hug her in the end and she then roles her eyes and walk off talking to herself...and just as soon as the phone rings and she talks to her other friends...she forgets all about it..THANK GOD!
Last comment..if you need some female bonding/support..or just a change...don't forget to register with Delicately Realistic...it would be great to meet you girl!
Dearest Misguided,
1- when I said, "senstive" I was referring to your declared senstivity to having your derrier chewed off. However, I think you secretly enjoy being lashed at, and you purposely write comments to incite such a reaction. Is there something about your childhood you're not telling me? Thought so.
2-I choose to be flattered that you seek refuge in my 'silly escapades' and I choose to ignore the insinuation that my life is silly. Afterall, enjoying silliness says more about you than it does about me :)
much much silly love,
CD
MISSCOSMO,
Thanks for the blogger invite :) I'm incredibly busy this month and the next, but please count me in on the third female blogger meeting :)
would love to meet you, especially
I appreciate your blogs content. Gotta run.
purses
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